lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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