OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize