She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
