I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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