I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
