We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
