If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize