We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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