I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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