it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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