I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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