I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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