Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize