can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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