Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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