Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
