I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
