3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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