What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE