This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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