Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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