it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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