DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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