drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize