We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
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Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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