Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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