it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize