I think im going to throw up on grandma
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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