we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize