I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize