woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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