Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!