I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?