plz talk dirty to me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry