So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
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i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.