the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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