It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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