I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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