I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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