I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize