ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize