It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
