it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
