Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize