There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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