You made me cry and you don't even care
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?