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i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This baby is an asshole
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
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