oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Panties = found
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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