Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
