The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
