Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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