im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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