put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
