Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.