im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.