Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds